As I travel the country working with business professionals to enhance their communication, I often find that most individuals are unaware of the static they create when they communicate. Not only does their static prevent them from influencing others to take action, they also run the risk of:
- Minimizing the perceptions others create of them.
- Grabbing and keeping their listeners attention.
- Communicating a message that’s unclear and misunderstood.
What do I mean by static? When what you say isn’t consistent with how you say it. For example, when who you’re talking to says, “I’m so excited to have this opportunity to work with you.” They communicate this statement in a monotone and boring voice. Their facial expressions are lifeless. They never look you in the eye and they’re fidgeting with a pen. Would you believe them? Most likely you’d question their credibility, knowledge and not take action on what they have to say.
The purpose of this article is to increase your awareness of the static you may be creating for your listeners and to give you practical, immediate skills you can apply when you’re communicating face-to-face, over the phone, during meetings or presentations.
1. PAUSE
Um, what perception, like, do you create, you know, when you hear, um, a speaker using, uh, words that clutter, you know, their language? Knowledgeable, credible and confident probably don’t come to mind.
We refer to these words as non-words or filler words. As I travel the country, the number one challenge individuals need to overcome if they want to communicate with influence, is the ability to replace their non-words with a pause. We use non-words to buy ourselves time to think about what we want to say. These words become distracting and your listener misses what you’re communicating. Instead, give your listeners time to hear and understand your message.
Give yourself permission to think on your feet by replacing your non-words with pauses. Speak in shorter thoughts or sentences.
Benefits for You
- Think on your feet.
- Get to the point and avoid rambling.
- Take a relaxing breath.
- Hold your listener’s attention.
- Gain control over your message and how you communicate your message.
Benefits for Listener
- Hear and understand your message.
- Act on what you say.
2. Eye Connection
Last week when I met a new client to help him enhance his ability to influence others, I asked him; “What do you feel are your communication strengths?” He responded, “Eye contact.” As he responded his eyes were darting everywhere! Most individuals don’t lock their eyes with an individual long enough to create a relationship.
The only way to build a relationship is through trust. When you forget what to say, you will look at the ceiling, floor, PowerPoint slides or anywhere away from your listeners. When you disconnect you’ll say “uh” “um” “so” “and”, etc. You communicate to your listeners you don’t know what you’re saying.
When speaking to more than two individuals, connect with one individual for a complete sentence or thought. Take a moment to pause as you transition your eyes from one individual to another.
Ask your listener to immediately give you feedback when you look away from them while you’re speaking. When you’re speaking on the phone, use objects in front of you to complete a sentence or thought
Only speak when you see your listener’s eyes and pause when you look away.
3. Vocal Projection
If you want to be perceived as confident you must speak at a volume level to be heard.
On a scale from one to ten with one being inaudible and ten too loud; when speaking to a group of fifteen or more your voice needs to be at a seven to eight. When speaking over the phone or to a small group project at a four to five level.
Vocal projection has nothing to do with yelling. It’s the realization you need to use different volume levels so your voice reaches everyone in the room. No one should have to strain to hear you. If they do, they’ll stop listening and you.
Benefits
- Hold your listener’s attention.
- Bring out the importance of your message.
- Convey confidence.
Speak to be heard! Ask for feedback on the volume level you project in meetings, face-to-face situations and over the phone.
4. GESTURES
The majority of individuals I work with fidget with their fingers, rings, hair, pen and the list goes on. If they don’t fidget then they unconsciously talk with their hands. There is also the individual who goes to the extreme. They’ve been told they talk with their hands so they hold their hands and do nothing.
Confident speakers use their gestures to add emphasis to their words. To gesture with purpose, avoid locking your elbows at your sides or creating the same repetitive gesture. Instead, expand your gestures from your sides and let your hands emphasize and describe your message.
Add variety to your gestures by relaxing your arms back to your sides after you complete a gesture. If you’re constantly using gestures you’re not able to think on your feet and you’re creating static.
Benefits for You and Your Listener
- You’re the visual. When you use purposeful gestures, your listeners will remember more of your message.
- Add emphasis to your message.
- Grab your listener’s attention.
- Add energy and inflection to your voice and channel your adrenaline and nervous energy.Throughout the day, notice how you and others use gestures. Do your gestures have purpose? Ask for constructive feedback from friends, family and co-workers; “When I gesture do I look like I’m talking with my hands?” “Do I use gestures too often or not enough?”
5. Get to the Point
The more you say that’s unnecessary, the greater the risk your listeners will either miss or misinterpret your point. What can help you get to the point?
- Stay focused. When you find yourself going down the path of saying too much and you begin to feel like a train about to derail, put the brakes on and get yourself back on track…PAUSE!
- Keep your objective in mind. Think in terms of what your listener needs to know about what you want them to do, not what you want to tell them.
- Use the Rule of Three. Focus your message on no more than the three most significant points. It’s easier for you to get to the point and for your listeners to remember your message.
- Pay attention to your listener. Are they hanging on your every word or are they dazed? Are they attentive or fidgeting?
- Prepare, practice and focus.
Stacey Hanke
Expert, Author and Speaker
